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DM | Thomas Koch | https://twitter.com/ThomasAKoch
UZO | Warren Reid | https://twitter.com/urbanmasque
REMY the Fox | Beau C. Williams | https://twitter.com/Beau_C_Williams
ANDRASTE | Tiana Hanson | https://twitter.com/Vana1895
RUKUS | Aaron Acosta | https://twitter.com/AaronThatDay

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Spoiler Recap Episode 16 – Change of Plans

Uzo takes the stolen carriage back to the North Ward. Though the inside is covered in blood, the outside looks fine so he thinks he’s safe taking it in public. He walks to the Irregular Tavern where Randall and eight other homeless people are waiting for him. Randall knows the urchin children who took the stone and says the best place to look for them is a small sewer system in the Dock Ward.

Uzo thanks Randall and gives im the gem worth 50 gold. The tavern is opening tomorrow night but the Irregulars have to attend to other matters. He asks Randall to have the homeless to maintain the place, work as security, and keep their ears to the ground for news. Randall agrees, and as a final favor promises to make the bloody carriage disappear.

Remy, Andraste, Rukus, and Vaelle are still at Remy’s house. Rukus sits on Hrabbaz’s body in the middle of the living room and the blood soaks through to his underpants. Whether he wears any is a mystery. In a chipper tone, Rukus explains that he wasn’t always “this charming badass soldier with incredible skills in combat.” He came from a wealthy family in Baldur’s Gate, but one night Hrabbaz burned his home and killed his family. Rukus doesn’t know why he did, but suspects the half-orc was just the hired muscle, not the mastermind. He adds in a chipper voice, “This little guy killed and took everything I loved! And burned it! To the ground!”

They search Hrabbaz’s body and find a pouch with a virtual fortune of 100 platinum (equivalent to 1000 gold. Or dragons. Whatever they call it in Waterdeep). The coins are from Baldur’s Gate and there’s a note with them. Rukus tries to read it for half an hour before Andraste takes pit on him and reads:

““Hrabbaz, if what you say is true and the highborn child lives, that explains our favor with Azmodeus. Do not delay in finishing your task from those many years ago and take this coin as an incentive. As for the Cassalanters, I am happy to know Ammelia struggles to fulfill her agreement with our Patron. Her children will suffer eternally and that is a very rewarding thought. Return to us at our estate in Baldur’s Gate as soon as the child has been dealt with. Your contract will be complete. Destroy this note as soon as you finish reading it. – Lady Coraline Huntington” (EDITOR’S NOTE: The names were later retconned out to leave more avenues for storytelling – BC/SS)

This letter helps the party because it means that only killed Hrabbaz in self-defense, but only if it comes with the platinum. Andraste points out the note doesn’t say how much platinum Hrabbaz was paid so they take the majority. Remy jokes about not letting Uzo have any of it since he isn’t here, but when Uzo returns from the tavern, Baga and Kuma immediately tell him.

Uzo says they need to look for the children in the sewer but first they have to figure out what to do with Hrabbaz’s body. They debate turning it in or else leaving the city and going to Baldur’s Gate to let things cool down. Uzo doesn’t trust the city’s justice, Andraste said they did nothing wrong so they don’t need to run. Remy worries about the tavern if they’re gone, and Uzo gives a class bias diatribe on how the homeless are the best entrepreneurs but lack the capital to get started.

They finally decide to leave Hrabbaz’s body in the street near the watch precinct with some of his platinum and the note. They tell Vaelle to wait a moment, then “find” the body and scream. Before they do, Uzo convinces Remy and Andraste to let Rukus have a trophy, so he pulls out one of Hrabbaz’s teeth and cuts off a hand with his butterknife messily.

Vaelle is still in Remy’s bathrobe, so they give her some money to go get new clothes. They sneak through the alleys and drop off the body. Right on cue, Vaelle screams and a commotion starts. Their plan working, the Irregulars set off toward the sewers but not before they find the bathrobe nicely folded and waiting for Remy.

The entrance to the sewers is near where they killed Hrabbaz. Rukus throws Remy to a rooftop where he sees the crime scene cordoned off. It’s easily avoided so they follow sewer grates until they find one that’s slightly ajar. Kuma goes in to scout and reports there’s a room down there with a blue stone sitting under a chair. It’s too heavy for him to carry. Remy says he can go down through the grate and Andraste asks if she should come too. But she’s too large and would only fit if, as Remy suggests, she disrobes and he rubs her down with butter. She rolls her eyes. Kuma says there’s a door around the corner.

Uzo, Rukus, and Andraste head to the door while Remy drops through the grate. He’s immediately hit with a horrible stench that feels like it’s poisoning him. But he can breathe again when he takes out his bag of herb and put it up to his nose. Remy advances and finds the room with the chair and the blue stone. He searches the area for traps but as he gets close to the chair it attacks him.

The chair shifts into an amorphous pseudopod thing. “Oh tricky chair, let’s turn you into firewood!” he yells, but the mimic grapples him. The others hear him from around the corner. They aren’t far behind since they didn’t let Rukus kick the unlocked door. Rukus calls to check on Remy, but hearing the sound of battle, Uzo yells “don’t attack the children!” Remy encourages them to “get their arses in here.”

Rukus turns the corner and sees Remy. He puts on his persona of “Doorknocker Butterknife the Third,” and throws the butterknife. It cuts through the pseudoblob and hits the wall on the other side. Uzo rushes in, screaming for Remy not to hurt the children and stops midsentence as he sees the mimic. He turns his spear into a shillelagh just as Andraste sees what’s happening. She throws a spell, but the mimic puts Remy in the way just in time, so she shifts her aim and misses.

The mimic drops Remy for a moment and shifts into the usual chest-with-jaws form. It bites Remy and slurps at the little halfling feet sticking out of its mouth. Rukus yells “You won’t turn Remy into firewood!” and swings his sword, hoping not to hit Remy. He hits the mimic and avoids Remy, but Uzo isn’t as careful. He swings his shillelagh down onto the top of the chest, driving the teeth closed and through Remy’s armor. The thing releases Remy as it dies and he falls out, puncture marks all around his midriff.

Uzo picks up the Stone of Golorr. His eldritch sight shows that it’s shows as magical but gives no clue of how to use it. Remy points out the three eye markings on it and says it looks like a stone representation of an aboleth, a water-dwelling creature that makes psychic attacks. They figure that maybe it takes time to attune to the stone so they head out of the sewers.

The city watch is waiting for them. After a quick debate, they decide that it’s safer to turn themselves in than run. After all, they found the stone trying to help Barnibus. The watch takes all their weapons. Then realizes there are more. Then they take a few more. Finally they get everything except Rukus’s butterknife. They take careful note of each person’s name and items but pause at the name “Rukus Highborn.” The watch leader won’t say why. He arrests them because they match the description of the people who killed Hrabbaz.

As the Irregulars are led toward the precinct office, Remy tells passersby to come to the grand opening of the tavern. Uzo whispers to Baga and Kuma to stay close but unseen

The precinct office has a large waiting room with a front desk. Behind is a hallway with six holding cells. Uzo and Remy are put in one cell and Rukus in another with Andraste. As all three guards return to the front room, Rukus calls top bunk. Andraste paces the cell like a trapped animal, obviously unhappy at being trapped inside. Uzo sends Baga to look for keys while Kuma goes to listen in on the guards. Remy reminds Uzo he can pick the lock any time since this isn’t the first jail he’s snuck out of. The others believe that.

Remy sits back and smokes some herb, studying the stone. He focuses his thoughts on it, and after an hour suddenly knows three things about it. First, the Stone of Golorr is actually an aboleth that’s somehow trapped alive and aware in this form. Second, Remy can use the stone three times a day to learn lore about something legendary. Finally, he can breathe underwater and cold doesn’t bother him.

Immediately taking advantage of this knowledge, Remy thinks about the staff of dragons. His mind melds with the stone and he sees himself on the streets of Waterdeep. He rushes through the city to the Sea Ward to an old rundown tower. He goes down a flight of circular steps to a massive doorway and immediately knows what he needs to open it. Waking with a start, he exclaims, “We need ale. A cask of dwarven ale, an adamantine bar, and gems worth a thousand gold pieces.”

“Oh good you’re alive, why do we need those?” Andraste asks. He’s been in a trance for an hour.

Remy explains what he saw, and decides to ask about the legendary hoard of 500,000 gold dragons. The stone shows him the same vision, only this time he follows an exquisitely dressed nobleman who looks like an older version of Ranaer Neverember. The figure goes through the locked door and hands the staff to a dwarf in a room filled with money. Then he closes the door, magically seals it, and Remy wakes up.

It’s been another hour and it’s getting late. As Remy tells what he saw, the team hears a snap and a gutteral noise from the waiting area. Captain Staget runs in and says they have to leave. He reports that the magistrates are corrupt and plotting against them, having been bought by the Gralhunds. He asks multiple times if the Irregulars need to give anything to somebody.

Remy unlocks his own cell and Staget gets the other one. Andraste realizes something is very off with Staget and presses him until the captain draws a longsword.

The fight is short. Remy takes Rukus’s butterknife and the other three all cast spells. Finally Uzo blasts the captain’s midsection apart, throwing viscera all over Remy. As Staget falls, he shifts into a gray-skinned humanoid, a doppelganger. It reminds Andraste somehow about the elder tiefling they chased earlier.

More of the watch arrive with Barnibus. The investigator gives Remy a healing potion and the Irregulars fill him in on what has happened. Barnibus agrees to get the adamantine bar, cask of dwarven ale, and gems worth a thousand gold. Remy deceives him saying they need better armor too, but pushes too hard and Barnibus calls his bluff.

Barnibus gives their weapons back but presses them on why Hrabbaz was found in a different place than where he was killed. Remy actually tells the whole truth which luckily works in their favor. Rukus adds, “Okay since we’re being honest, can I have the head?” Barnibus is dubious but accepts that the Irregulars are greatly helping the city. But he warns them that once this is over, he won’t tolerate any more shenanigans.