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DM | Thomas Koch | https://twitter.com/ThomasAKoch
UZO | Warren Reid | https://twitter.com/urbanmasque
REMY the Fox | Beau C. Williams | https://twitter.com/Beau_C_Williams
ANDRASTE | Tiana Hanson | https://twitter.com/Vana1895
RUKUS | Aaron Acosta | https://twitter.com/AaronThatDay

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This one was a lot of fun! Remy got badly injured, Rukus caused mayhem, Uzo only cast eldritch blast, and Andraste did all the major ass-kicking. In other words, a day at the office.

Episode 15 – Chaos in the Streets

Remy stands on a roof looking down at the black carriage in a small plaza. Inside is an elderly tiefling man along with Hrabbaz the half-orc with the cleft-palate. Three spined devils come flying up toward the roof. Remy jumps and lands on top of the carriage. He knocks out the driver stealthily, but three imps appear in front of him. They attack with their barbed tails and poison Remy.

Andraste and Rukus reach the crest of the roof and see Remy in dire straits. Andraste casts a healing spell on him and the three spined devils attack her in retaliation. Rukus hits them with his sword but realizes it isn’t doing much to hurt them. He must need a silvered weapon, perhaps his butterknife.

Hrabbaz reaches out of the carriage to try and grab Remy, but the halfling is too nimble and darts under the carriage. He hangs on the axles so he can hide from the imps and pull the stingers out of his neck. Rukus sees Hrabbaz from the roof and stares. Andraste begs Rukus to stay focused on the devils in front of him, but he says “Sorry that’s too much to ask of me.” He shoots a firebolt at Hrabbaz and yells something inarticulate to taunt him. Hrabbaz laughs at the taunt and picks up the carriage’s reins, whipping the horses into motion.

The devils ignore the insanely well-armored Rukus and focus on Andraste. The imps search for Remy, but when they can’t find him, disappear with a poof. Remy turns his attention to stopping the cart. He draws his documented, un-silvered rapier and stabs it between a wheel’s spokes. Unsurprisingly, the blade breaks right off and does nothing.

At this point, Uzo finally arrives at the end of the alley, late because he was too busy murdering the unconscious Seffia in the windmill. He pants from his run and clutches at his papercut. Luckily he can shoot an eldritch blast from a really long range. He shoots one of the devils attacking Andraste, who’s busy fending them off with her silvered longsword and a spiritual weapon.

One of them sees the trail of Remy’s blood coming from under the carriage and goes to investigate. Luckily it can’t find him, but one of the imps poofs into existence and stabs him, injecting more poison. The other devils keep attacking Andraste on the roof while Rukus abandons her. He jumps down to the carriage, eyes only for the half-orc that killed his parents. He stabs his flamberge into Hrabbaz’s leg, but Hrabbaz barely winces and whips the horses faster. Rukus admits “Wow. I’d respect you if I didn’t hate you so much.”

Remy sees tiefling feet get out of the carriage and start to run. He darts out of his hiding place, injured and furious, focused completely on getting his quarry. He thinks about going for the Achilles tendon, but is too angry and stabs the tiefling in the spine. It feels different than he expects but can’t place how. “Give me the stone and you don’t have to die,” Remy says, but the only reply is something that wriggles under the tiefling’s clothes with a high-pitched giggle. He curses imps.

Uzo keeps running to catch up. He shoots another eldritch blast.

Andraste turns her spiritual blade toward a badly wounded devil. The blade stabs through its chest from behind slaying it. Andraste spins and hurls a guided bolt at the devil on the ground and blue-green light completely immolates it, instantly killing that one. She jumps down off the roof to catch up with the cart.

Rukus pulls his sword out of Hrabbaz’s leg and stabs it into his stomach. “I’m starting to get to you, aren’t I?” he taunts, but the half-orc laughs and Rukus starts to think he’s in over his head. Andraste and Uzo yell for him to stop the carriage and Rukus grabs the reins, pulling the horses to a stop. Hrabbaz pulls out an enormous morningstar flail Rukus hadn’t noticed before. He attacks three times, hitting Rukus once. One of the blows smashes into the seat and breaks the bench.

The tiefling runs past Remy, attempting to flee, and rounds a corner out of the alley. He escapes into a busy street full of pedestrians. Remy turns back toward the carriage, stabs Hrabbaz in the foot from below, then dashes out of the way.

Uzo is still too far away to do anything but throw an eldritch blast.

Rukus, filled with rage, is unfortunately not a barbarian so he can’t use that to his advantage. He tosses his shield of the cart and swings his flamberge at Hrabbaz’s other leg with both hands. Hrabbaz jumps off the cart and tries to run after the tiefling. Remy takes a swing as he runs by but is distracted as he sees an imp materialize, turn into a raven, and fly away. Andraste catches up, throwing spells, but Uzo is too far back to have line of sight, having wasted too much time inexplicably murdering Seffia.

Rukus runs around the corner and sees that Hrabbaz isn’t in the crowd yet. He gambles everything, lifts the flamberge above his head, and hurls it end over end. It buries into Hrabbaz’s chest and the half-orc falls dead into a crowd that screams in terror. The civilians look back to see Andraste and Remy peeking around the corner, while Rukus stands triumphant with his fists on his hips, yelling “Yes! I got him!”

Uzo finally catches up just as a fat kid pulls a slingshot and shoots the raven imp. Feathers go poof and something blue the size of the raven falls to the ground. A small tiefling girl and a skinny dark-skinned boy race Remy to pick it up. But he’s injured and the kids are urchins who know the city. They grab the stone and disappear into the screaming chaos of the crowd.

Remy goes after the urchins, while Andraste pulls the flamberge out of Hrabbaz’s body. She hands it to Rukus, yelling at him to run. Uzo doesn’t think they did anything wrong and doesn’t understand why they’re fleeing, but Andraste reminds him the watch will be here soon. Rukus picks up Hrabbaz’s body as a trophy and Uzo finally casts an illusionary wall to hide their flight. They throw the corpse into the carriage and ride off with it, leaving the unconscious driver in the alley just as two members of the watch show up, completely dumbfounded.

Rukus, Andraste, and Uzo make their way back to Remy’s house where Rukus deposits Hrabbaz’s body in the middle of the living room. Uzo says that Randall at the tavern will know where to find the children who took the stone. The carriage is basically undamaged except for the seat, so he closes its shades and calmly drives it back to the North Ward. He says he’ll leave it abandoned in an alley for the watch to find later.

Vaelle walks into the living room with puffy eyes and a vacant stare. She has enjoyed too much of Remy’s herb to be shocked by the half-orc corpse on the floor. She asks Andraste for 10 gold so she can leave Waterdeep and go back to her family in Luskan. Andraste gives her the gold but Rukus is shocked. He says “Just because you have an alive- most of your family is alive, right? Give me the scotch. You don’t deserve it.” He puts it to his mouth just as Remy walks in.

Remy takes the bottle from Rukus, uncorks it before he drinks, and tells Rukus he has a very important job that needs the fighter’s particular set of skills. Remy hands him a mop and tells him to go clean up the trail of blood that leads right to the door. “You know I don’t know how to clean!” Rukus gripes, but he goes outside, and with Andraste’s help, eventually manages to hide the blood trail.

Remy talks to Vaelle about wanting to leave Waterdeep. She says that she’s established in the city, having been here for two or three years. He suggests the greenhouse in the North Ward across the street from the tavern. He says he can make an introduction there and potentially get her a job. Then she can come water the Irregulars’ delicate orchids and inordinate number of dank ferns. The one caveat is no devil worship.

Vaelle agrees to this and asks if anyone has any clothes. She’s still wearing the devil cultist robes, and they’re less than clean because of the “other” things she and her boyfriend Holiver did in them. They were in the crypt for two days, after all, and had to keep from getting bored. Remy takes out a silk bathrobe monogrammed RtF that he keeps for “guests”. It’s medium-sized since he doesn’t know what type of guests he’ll be entertaining. Andraste scoffs. Vaelle throws the cultist robes in the fireplace and Rukus shocks Uzo by lighting it with a firebolt.

A young lady in Remy’s playboy bathrobe, they rest, planning to catch up with Uzo at the tavern later.

– Ben Cislowski