Chaos Agents | Ep 14 | The Path

DM | Thomas Koch | https://twitter.com/ThomasAKoch
UZO | Warren Reid | https://twitter.com/urbanmasque
REMY the Fox | Beau C. Williams | https://twitter.com/Beau_C_Williams
ANDRASTE | Tiana Hanson | https://twitter.com/Vana1895
RUKUS | Aaron Acosta | https://twitter.com/AaronThatDay

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Spoiler Recap: Episode 14 – The Path

At 4:00 in the morning, the Foxy Irregulars head toward the City of the Dead, Waterdeep’s cemetery. They know it’s guarded at night, but plan to sneak in. Otherwise they’ll have to wait another full day before they can be made honorary members of the City Watch.

The City of the Dead is surrounded by a stone wall and guarded by the City Guard, the military arm of the Watch. The Irregulars go around the corner to an unwatched portion of wall. They get Rukus to take off his horrifically smelling armored boots and put on his pink bunny slippers of spider climb. He walks sideways up the wall to scope it out.

Unfortunately Rukus is loud and the argument over the plan was louder. Remy goes to the front gate to distract the guards. He says that he made the noise they must have heard. Then he starts acting like a charming citizen and advertising the tavern. One guard doesn’t buy it and goes to investigate. Athelor, the other guard, talks Remy’s ear off in exchange, talking about how carnies once stole his one true love, but it was a good thing because she turned out to be a hag who cooked kids in meat pies.

The second guard sees Rukus standing on top of the wall. He calls out, and Rukus, realizing they should have sent someone with some skill in stealth, moonwalks back down the wall to his friends like Homer into some bushes.

Meanwhile, Athelor has started telling Remy the story of Strahd the vampire. He hears something and tells Remy to stand still. He gets the Captain of the Guard, Sir Ambrose Everdawn. Remy chats him up and advertises the tavern, inviting Ambrose to opening night on Friday. Their conversation goes on interminably until dawn arrives and Ambrose says to open the gates.

The Foxy Irregulars just walk in to the cemetery. The entire expedition was a useless waste of time.

They follow the map to a large mausoleum and find a very well-maintained crypt labeled “Cassalanter”. Tracks in the dust show where the door has been recently opened. Remy picks the incredibly difficult lock with no difficulty, and no one believes him when he tells how well he did. Rukus looks at his slipper and the open door, saying “it’s not as fun now.”

Inside the crypt is a large chamber with two sarcophagi. Uzo sees magic emanating from a loose stone behind one of them, and they find an ornate box holding four small vials and a gorgeously calligraphed note with a cat’s head symbol. It says:

“My dearest brethren. I made a discovery in our catacombs and I believe it may change our finances for the better. But someone has caught on, I fear, for I have been followed these past two score months. I fear they may take all of what I have. Should I fail my mission, bury the secret with me and the contents of my chest at the hall lest anyone but ourselves hold it. Tell my beloved farewell should I not return in a fortnight. This message is to be delivered by my familiar. Should he not bear the message, kill he who has it and question the corpse for the location of mine. Always, Master Adaris of the Order of the Immortals.”

A stair in the back of the chamber leads downward where the team finds three human corpses with fresh blood around them. Their robes have markings that look devilish. One body stirs, and Andraste heals the woman enough so she can talk. Uzo threatens her with his spear, intimidating her so thoroughly there’s no doubt she’s telling the truth.

The woman is Vaelle Lurval, a florist. Her boyfriend Holiver (one of the dead) was in a cult that worshipped Azmodeus, Lord of the Nine Hells. She was only involved to impress him. Three others were here too: Arn Xalrondar, Seffia Naelryke, and the last of the dead bodies. The nimblewright came and delivered a blue stone, then Arn and Seffia turned and killed the other three. Vaelle says Arn and Seffia are probably at an abandoned windmill in the Dock Ward. She has no idea how the Cassalanters are involved with the devil cult.

Vaelle leads the party to the windmill. She thinks that only Seffia and Arn will be there, but they will definitely fight to defend themselves. The Irregulars discover there are several homeless sleeping on the ground floor of the windmill that the cultists are likely using as human shields. They debate using Vaelle as bait or a canary to lure the cultists out and Uzo wants to just kill her. Andraste vetoes both ideas on moral grounds. They finally decide to send Vaelle to Remy’s house and warn her about Baga and Kuma.

Uzo sneaks in and wakes one of the homeless whom he recognizes as Randall. Randall quietly wakes up the rest and ushers them out, and Uzo tells them to go to the Irregular Tavern. Meanwhile, Rukus stands horizontally on the side of the tower, his cape hanging straight down like a vampire.

Uzo, Andraste, and Remy sneak upstairs and find a landing with three doors. They listen at each one, and at the middle door hear two people arguing. They say something about people coming so they need to hold them off, and the team decides this is their quarry. Rukus, outside, sees three red, winged, evil-looking somethings fly in the upstairs window and goes to tell the others.

Remy thinks these devils are going to kill Arn and Seffia, so he releases the Rukus. At first, the fighter’s sad he can’t come in through the window, but then sees a door and goes to work. He uses his shoulder as a battering ram, damaging both himself and the door. Remy tells him to use his shield next time.

The three devils fly out the window, but two mages matching Arn and Seffia’s description are waiting for them. Remy slides in, parkours off the wall, attacks, then fades back. Rukus casts burning hands at them, and Uzo throws an eldritch blast at Arn, nearly knocking him out the window. Arn ripostes with a dagger, realizing too late that Uzo is wearing Armor of Agathys. The dagger lands, then Arn’s arm stiffens with ice up to the shoulder. He’s already dead, but Uzo takes no chances. He puts his hand on Arn’s forehead and rebukes him with hellfire. It throws Arn’s body out the window, green flame consuming the body to ashes by the time it hits the ground.

Seffia screams in anger and attacks Uzo with her own dagger, apparently not learning. She stiffens with ice, then keels over. Remy turns to Andraste and whispers, “remind me never to upset him.”

Andraste asks if they need Seffia alive since Arn is a pile of ash outside. As she goes to heal the cultist, Uzo yells “Are you kidding me? I have an open wound!” In reality, it’s the size of a paper cut.

Remy parkours out the window and runs along the peak of the roof after the devils. Rukus follows, Andraste trying to close the difference. The devils are faster than any of them and slowly gain ground no matter how hard the party tries. Uzo is too far behind to hit them with a long-range Eldritch Blast, though Andraste manages to hit them with Scorching Ray. Unfortunately it seems to have little effect. Remy tries to taunt them by calling them ugly, but the devils don’t take the bait.

Uzo realizes he can’t catch up. Fuming and wingeing that Andraste healed a bad guy instead of him, he goes back to the tower to the unconscious Seffia. He takes the coins off her body and picks her up by her robes. “I will take this as toll and you can join your star-crossed lover down there. Tell him I said hi!” he says and throws her out the window. He casually walks downstairs, sees the splatter and remarks it looks a lot higher from up there. (Editor’s Note: The party never finds out that Uzo does this – BC/SS)

Remy is in the lead as the others chase the devils. He’s exhausted, running his little legs off, but still losing them. He’s close enough to see the devils fly down to ground level and go to one of Waterdeep’s black carriage taxis. The devils look back up at him, yell something in demonic, and while Rukus and Andraste are still catching up, all fly back up to attack the exhausted Remy.

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